


Festering Wounds

by jellijeans



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-30 01:29:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6403162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jellijeans/pseuds/jellijeans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a young xander finds himself unable to wield siegfried; leo ends up "helping" him, at costs of his own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Festering Wounds

**Author's Note:**

> not nsfw, and not really any brotherly relationships either, mostly just xander and leo personal angst and insecurity. one shot, so this is the only chapter ^^

When he was younger, Leo felt like he didn’t have a waking moment not being compared to Xander. He couldn’t remember a time where he didn’t feel pressured to be more attractive, more enthusiastic, more knowledgeable, stronger, _better_ than Xander—that feeling had persisted throughout adolescence, and until even then, where Leo stood, frozen, outside Xander’s door.  
Being the crown prince, as long as he followed his father’s orders, Xander could have anything he wanted—that night, his seventeenth birthday, he had requested a sword—and so, him, Camilla, who was fifteen, Azura, thirteen, Leo and Corrin, both twelve, and Elise, who was only eight, had conspired to meet at the Northern Fortress, on the roof where they trained, so they could include Corrin. However, the time they had agreed to meet at had come and past—so Camilla had stayed behind to comfort the disappointed and worried couple of Corrin and Elise, and Leo had been sent to go summon Xander. Once he had arrived at the Northern Fortress living quarters of his elder brother, however, he had been surprised to hear quiet crying through the door. The mage in training had become afraid to knock after hearing his oldest sibling, always so resolute and strong-willed, breaking down behind closed doors—however, he pulled himself through it and lifted his hand to knock on the wooden door.  
“Come in,” Xander called weakly. Leo swallowed and twisted the knob, gently pushing the door open. Upon entering, he saw his older brother curled up, sitting on the bed, his head pressed to his knees.  
“...Brother?” Leo asked quietly, staring at his feet. He didn’t know where else to look, if only in fear of seeing how far his brother had deteriorated. “Brother, are you okay? What happened?”  
Xander weakly pointed at a huge, sheathed broadsword which was balanced up against the wall. Leo turned to it and examined the weapon before turning back to Xander. “May I?”  
Xander nodded, still not looking up. Leo lifted the sword, still sheathed, onto his lap as he sat down next to Xander, and carefully withdrew it, shocked at the sudden weight of it. As soon as his hand touched it, black flames began to wreath their way around the sword, starting at the tip of the blade and slowly wrapping themselves around the sharpened metal, and then weaved their way to the hilt, encasing Leo’s hand in an energy so powerful it felt as if the force of his own life were being drawn away from him and into the sword. Despite this, he couldn’t bring himself to let go of it—even as his hand grew colder, there was a strange energy that seemed to emanate from it, and the panic that should’ve been there in his mind was replaced by a feeling similar to bloodlust, or a desire to kill. Eventually, he collapsed over on the ground as his entire body grew cold, finally letting go of the sword as the flames subsided. Lying on the ground, he felt his vision go blurry for a moment as the heat returned to his body.  
“Bro...ther...” He croaked out weakly. Xander looked up at him, mortified, and yet sadly knowing at the same time. He nodded as he stepped off the bed to help Leo up, and rested him on the mattress, laying a blanket over him to help trap heat.  
“Now you know,” Xander murmured. “It’s a shadow weapon—Siegfried, the dark blade. I wanted a sword, and I know it’s a divine weapon, but...I...I don’t want to be turned into some merciless monster. You held it, too, and you know what it does—those _flames_ and how they suck out your body heat and maybe even your life but the sword bonds to you and it makes you...powerful. It makes you unbelievably strong, but it sucks out your soul while you hold it. It makes you emotionless in combat, and in turn, ruthless.” Xander looked at Leo, his eyes dark, but somewhere behind his shadowed eyes, an undertone of terror and fear showed through. “Leo, I don’t want to be a killer. I don’t want to kill people. I don’t want Elise and Corrin and everyone to grow up watching me be a merciless murderer on the battlefield. I...I don’t want to murder, Leo. I don’t want to cut people down on the battlefield. Please, Leo—I can’t wield Siegfried. It’s too much...”  
With that, Xander sat down next to Leo, returning to tears. Leo, his body heat finally returning, managed to weakly pull himself into a sitting position before resting a frail hand on Xander’s shoulder.  
“Xander, you didn’t collapse like I did, did you?” Leo rasped, clearing his throat. Xander shook his head. “Physically, you’re more than strong enough to wield the dark blade—mentally, however, it still takes control of you. If you want to wield a divine weapon, you must both mentally and physically prepare yourself—physically, you are ready, but mentally, your willpower must become stronger before you can use such a weapon. Even myself...I’m not physically nor mentally ready for a weapon like this. A tome would have similar side effects, although I suspect the physical element would come into play when one must summon one’s magic potential from their blood and use their body as a conductor for said magic versus gradually, and one must be careful as well not to let the power of any weapon like that to _literally_ go to your head, but...while I can do as much research on divine weapons as you’d like me to, I doubt you will be able to wield Siegfried unless you mentally train yourself as well. Become...hardened, so to speak, but also passionate and wise. It’s the most logical answer that comes to mind,” he continued. Leo stared at his own hands, the pale pinkish hue finally returning to the tips of his fingers. He curled his hand into a fist and stretched out his arms for a second before standing up.  
“I know that Hoshido is in possession of at least one divine weapon—King Sumeragi used to wield Raijinto, the supposed ‘sun god’s katana’, and as far as I know, that’s been passed down to Hoshido’s high prince, Ryoma. Prince Ryoma’s a little more than five months older than you, I believe.”  
Xander nodded, drying his tears. “I wish we weren’t at war,” he murmured quietly. Leo shot him a look of surprise. “I hate killing, Leo. I wish...maybe Ryoma and I could even be friends, one day, if it wasn’t for this war. We’re both crown princes, Leo—we’re not going to make it out of this alive, and if we do, it’ll only be one of us, and while I don’t want to have to kill Ryoma and pull Hoshido away from it’s crown prince, I...I don’t want to die, either.” He finished. Leo nodded quietly, wondering how that must feel. He turned to his eldest brother, about to say something, before stopping himself, pushing the blanket off and standing up.  
“Xander, they’re still waiting for you in the library, if it’s not too—” Leo looked at the window, where the moon was glowing in the sky and the stars were casting faint rays of light on the glass. “...oh. They’re probably gone now.” He made eye contact with his older brother, who winced. “...and besides, I doubt you’d want to show them you wielding... _that_.”  
As if on cue, he heard the quiet murmurings of Camilla, walking back their sleepy younger siblings to their rooms through the door. Leo raised his eyebrows to make a point.  
“Listen, Brother,” he continued, “Father gave you that sword because he believes that you will, one day, be able to wield it, so the best you can—”  
“What if I’m _not_ able to wield it _ever_ , Leo?!” Xander shouted. Leo recoiled and stepped away from his brother in shock. “What happens if I can’t wield Siegfried? If I’m a massive disappointment to not only Father, but the rest of our family and the entirety of Nohr as well? Listen, Brother, if I’m not good enough...I don’t know what I’ll do if I’m not good enough. But I despise killing and it’s bad enough I was given a sword with a bloodlust of its own, and that I’m seventeen with the weight of a war and the entire kingdom on my shoulders but I can barely handle myself and much less a country.” The crown prince brushed a wave of blonde hair out of his face. “I can’t do it, Leo. I’m...I’m not good enough.”  
“That’s enough, _Brother_.” Leo snapped back at him. “Xander, you’re the crown prince of Nohr, that’s true, but you aren’t king yet. Right now, you just need to handle yourself and your training and your studies—you’re great at everything you try. You excel at swordsmanship, horse-riding, Gods, even _magic_ —you chose to go with the sword, that’s true, but like you said, you’re only seventeen. You have time to train, and you aren’t expected to be perfect, even though you already are, so it’s not like you have an issue anyway! Just because you can’t wield one gods-forsaken weapon doesn’t mean that you’re a useless lunk! You’re going to rule the entire kingdom one day, Xander, and if you want to do that, you need to step up over your pettiness over a single sword and take responsibility for it if you decide you _are_ going to wield it. I can’t believe I’m telling you this, but Xander, you need to grow up.” With that, Leo exited Xander’s room without even bothering to check Xander’s response, and headed back down to his own quarters. On the way there, he passed Camilla, who had just exited from Elise’s room, presumably after putting her to bed.

“Leo, you look...flustered,” she commented. Leo rolled his eyes, although it was certainly true that he was upset.  
“Congrats. You have functioning eyes,” Leo spat back at her. Camilla frowned and narrowed her eyes.  
“Leo...you didn’t get in a fight with Xander, did you?” She asked quietly. Leo shot her a look.  
“For that matter, I did, actually. Most of it was because Xander wasn’t owning up to that blade Father gave him—it’s a divine weapon, and yet he can’t wield it because he’s just not mentally strong enough. However, he refuses to do anything about it but whine.” Leo growled.  
“Were you strong enough?” Camilla ventured. The mage stared at his feet.  
“...no. I wasn’t mentally strong enough...or physically, for that matter. I have a long way to go if I desire a weapon like that of my own someday,” Leo murmured. “...but Xander’s better than me at everything, and...he’s the crown prince and the whole kingdom and everyone’s love and affection goes to him and Corrin, and even he can’t wield this weapon. ...what am I going to do?”  
Camilla drew him in for a tight embrace. “Leo, you don’t need to do anything aside from be yourself. Perhaps neither of you can wield a divine weapon, but that doesn’t mean you’re useless, and it doesn’t mean he’s useless, either. If you want to train, train—but you have more important things to occupy yourself with than an inability to use a sword from the gods.” She let go of him and withdrew to her previous position as Leo considered her statement.  
“Fair point, Camilla. I will...consider your point of view.”  
“Thank you, Leo. Now...” Camilla stretched, popping a few of her joints. “...go to bed.”


End file.
